An Uncle Should

An uncle should arrive bearing gifts for his nephews and nieces. Preferably something exotic that you can't buy locally. I used to be strictly opposed to giving money instead on the grounds that it was lazy and showed a lack of imagination, but I've had to accept that it will not only do at a push, but is often preferred.

An uncle should raise the stakes in dinnertime conversation by saying things to nephews and nieces that their parents usually rule unacceptable. Depending on age and the peculiarities of the family involved something that is verging on rude, that hints at sex or digs up something from the past that the parents have hidden from their children is best.

A good uncle should have a flexible concept of uncle-hood which includes the children of friends as well as siblings.

A good uncle should adapt as children grow up, but should not ever try to be 'cool' in order to stay popular as child becomes tween becomes teen becomes young adult.

A good uncle should always retain an air of mystery and never allow the illusion, created during the early years, that he is wise to be destroyed completely. Evidence to the contrary need not be an insurmountable barrier in this respect.

An uncle should be a friend of the family and a friend of each member of the family. Separation or divorce will be a challenge to this point, but magnanimity and skillful exploitation of the neutrality inherent in uncle-hood should be enough to win the day.

A good uncle should visit and invite visits, knowing that the former will always be the default, and end each visit having added something memorable that only he can.