An Uncle Should

An uncle should arrive bearing gifts for his nephews and nieces. Preferably something exotic that you can't buy locally. I used to be strictly opposed to giving money instead on the grounds that it was lazy and showed a lack of imagination, but I've had to accept that it will not only do at a push, but is often preferred.

An uncle should raise the stakes in dinnertime conversation by saying things to nephews and nieces that their parents usually rule unacceptable. Depending on age and the peculiarities of the family involved something that is verging on rude, that hints at sex or digs up something from the past that the parents have hidden from their children is best.

A good uncle should have a flexible concept of uncle-hood which includes the children of friends as well as siblings.

A good uncle should adapt as children grow up, but should not ever try to be 'cool' in order to stay popular as child becomes tween becomes teen becomes young adult.

A good uncle should always retain an air of mystery and never allow the illusion, created during the early years, that he is wise to be destroyed completely. Evidence to the contrary need not be an insurmountable barrier in this respect.

An uncle should be a friend of the family and a friend of each member of the family. Separation or divorce will be a challenge to this point, but magnanimity and skillful exploitation of the neutrality inherent in uncle-hood should be enough to win the day.

A good uncle should visit and invite visits, knowing that the former will always be the default, and end each visit having added something memorable that only he can.

Just Say No to Insurance

Insurance was originally designed to save us from ruin in the event of an unpredictable misfortune. Shipping companies insured against their ship sinking in a violent storm and taking their cargo down with it. Drivers insured against being forced to swerve to avoid a drunken lunatic and writing off their vehicle in the ensuing back flip onto the hard shoulder. Everyone insured, if they could, against being hospitalized after illness or injury. This kind of insurance makes sense to me. Many kinds don't. Liability waiver insurance makes a cheap car rental not cheap. If I say no, almost 1000 pounds is blocked on my credit card and I'm faced with the loss of all of it if I so much as scratch the already heavily scratched 'Vauxhall Corsa or similar'. This is nonsense. That I am forced to take out insurance against an unexpected loss I can't possibly meet the cost of is common sense. But why, if I choose to risk an amount that would be painful, but not terminal, can't I be liable for the real cost of repair of whatever damage I cause? I take better care of the car if I know carelessness will cost me personally. In Thailand you see whole families traveling on small motorbikes without helmets. I asked a tour guide why they take the risk and he said "It's their family, they go slowly." He might have added that they pay attention. They don't wear iPods or talk on the phone, safe in the knowledge that someone else will pay if they lose concentration and crash. If they do crash, they have to take responsibility. And there's the rub: the more insured we are, the less responsible we feel for our actions. Say no to damage waiver insurance, say no to PPI, say no to identity theft insurance, say no to no claims bonus insurance and football shirt insurance and bad weather on holiday insurance and all the thousand types of insurance against the inevitable risks of life that won't bankrupt you if they happen. Take responsibility and feel the thrill of exposure.